COFFIN AND SPLUTTERING (THE LAST RIGHT)


Even before it hit cinemas, there were a couple of warning signs about Aoife Crehan's cross-border comedy, 'The Last Right'.

First of all, it slipped in and out of cinemas in Ireland before getting a digital release.

Secondly, when they did promote it, the film's main marketing draw appeared to be that it had a soundtrack by Snow Patrol's frontman Gary Lightbody.

Finally, the film had Colm Meaney in the kind of buffoonish policeman role that he has tended to trot out in the last 16 years since he did it so well in John Crowley's 'Intermission'.

'The Last Right' indeed turns out to be everything you feared - full of Oirish twinkle, with a script that is about as funny as RTE's 1980s laughter free sitcom 'Leave It to Mrs O'Brien'.

But the worst thing about Crehan's lazy film is its appalling waste of talent.

Michiel Huisman plays Daniel Murphy, a Bostonian lawyer, flying home to his native west Cork at Christmas following the death of his mother.

His plan is to bring his autistic teenage brother, Samuel Bottomley's Louis back with him to the US but this will be challenging.

Daniel's plans start to go awry when Jim Norton's amiable old codger Pádraig sits beside him on the plane, strikes up a conversation and, in the most contrived way imaginable, somehow decides to put his travelling companion's name down on a visa form as a relative while the Yank is on a toilet break.

And then - what do you know? - Pádraig duly kicks the bucket on the flight before it lands at Shannon and Daniel soon finds himself lumbered with his coffin, with Louis insisting he must take the body from Clonakilty to Rathlin Island in Northern Ireland, so the old man can be buried.

Pádraig and Louis rather unconvincingly end up taking Niamh Algar's kooky mortuary assistant Mary along for their 'Rainman,-style adventure in their Volvo which bears the old man's childlike green coffin.

Louis also insists on taking a revolver with themfor safety - thus guaranteeing an oh so hilarious misunderstanding in a chip shop.

The trio needn't worry, though.

Colm Meaney's inept Detective Crowley is on their trail, anxious to prevent Padraig's burial with Eleanor O'Brien's Bean Garda Sheila O'Neill in tow.

The brothers and Mary drive through a bleak looking Ireland at a snail's pace - although it has to be said their winter trek is not helped by the fact that Louis is uncomfortable about travelling in the dark.

Their effort to get Padraig's corpse over the border to Co Antrim despite Detective Crowley's efforts ends up catching national attention, with an appearance on RTE Radio One's phone-in 'Liveline with Joe Duffy'.

And, of course, along the way there's a hint of romance in the air and also family revelations that threaten to tear the brothers apart.

All of this is, of course, ridiculous old guff.

But it is also not even funny, old guff which is unforgivable for any movie purporting to be a comedy.

Crehan, who wrote the script, is aiming for the gentle humour that made 'The Peanut Butter Falcon' such a delight.

However her darts land nowhere near the dartboard. 

The film contains nods too to John Hughes' 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' but does that really matter?

The film it most clearly wants to be is an Irish version of Barry Levinson's 1988 Oscar winner 'Rain Man'.

But that doesn't stop Crehan though from rather self-consciously taking a pop at Levinson's film and correctly reminding us that people with autism are different and not everyone is like Dustin Hoffman's savant Raymond Babbitt.

Whereas Levinson's fable somehow pulled off the trick of convincing us that Tom Cruise was the younger brother of Dustin Hoffman, Crehan's leading men have no such luck.

Not only is there a lack of chemistry between Huisman and Bottomley but the former delivers a dull, going through the motions performance.

To be fair, Huisman isn't helped by a stale and frankly preposterous plot.

However the 'Game of Thrones' actor's performance is so low energy, you begin to wonder if Daniel should save us all the bother and just head back on the first plane to Boston.

Bottomley tries to make the best of a poorly written part but it is hard to fathom what drew an actor as talented as Algar to such a waste of a role.

Meaney blusters his way through his part just like he did in Terry George's hostage caper 'A Whole Lotta Sole' and Nathan Todd's shambolic Troubles movie 'A Belfast Story'.

Brian turns up as a priest, Michael McElhatton as a family friend but at least Norton has the sense to get out of Crehan's turkey early. 

But hang on a moment.

An Irish movie with actors like Niamh Algar, Brian Cox, Jim Norton, Colm Meaney and Michael McElhatton coming up miles short isn't just a shame.

It is an outrage and no Mark Knopfler style acoustic finger pickings from Gary Lightbody can save it.

However even the soundtrack is a disappointment too.

('The Last Right' was released in UK and Irish cinemas on December 6, 2019 and was made available on streaming services on March 30, 2020)

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